No More Photos

A single candid photo can hit harder than it should. A group shot where your eyes go straight to yourself and nowhere else. A reflection caught from an angle you did not choose. A holiday picture that should have held a memory and instead just delivered a shock. The worst part is not always that you looked terrible. Sometimes it is that you looked exactly how you feared. The photo confirms what you have been managing in the mirror and hiding under clothes.

So you change how you behave. You volunteer to take the picture so you stay out of it. You slide to the back of the group. You stop opening the albums. You tell yourself you do not care.

But you do care, because a photo makes your body public and permanent in a way a passing glance in a mirror never does. This is not shallow. Photos are tied to memory and to who you are. Wanting to see one and not feel punched is enough. Wanting to stop hiding from the camera is enough. Sticking to your deficit is how the camera stops being something you brace for.